Looney Tunes HR Director: Thank you for coming in today Pepé. There have been some serious allegations made against you. As the director of Looney Tunes HR, it is my duty to investigate.
Pepé: Sacre Bleu! What are you talking about?
Looney Tunes HR Director: You are familiar with Ms. Penelope Pussycat?
Pepé: Ah yes, (wink, wink) she is delightful.
Looney Tunes HR Director: Mr. LePew, we have numerous documented incidents of you harassing Ms. Pussycat, grabbing and touching her without her consent, and following her to a point of stalking.
Pepé: Dérisoire! Not only was I simply trying to pursue her romantically, she led me on. On several occasions she parades around with a white streak down her back. I thought she was a skunk, and so game on!
Looney Tunes HR Director: (shaking his head) Mr. LePew, that rationale has more holes in it than Daffy Duck after an encounter with Elmer Fudd.
Pepé: Excusez moi?
Looney Tunes HR Director: Mr. LePew, let me lay out a few things. One, you are victim blaming. Whether she is wearing a white streak or not, you do not have the right to assume you can do what you want without her consent, much less act on those assumptions. Two, your explanation reeks of entitlement. So, if someone is a skunk, you believe you should be able to pursue them even against their will?
Pepé: As if I am the only one at Looney Tunes who is le problème.
Looney Tunes HR Director: We at Looney Tunes are well aware we have put forth some extremely problematic imagery, but we are working to rectify this, and that is part of why you and I are talking today. Trying to deflect this won’t help. We are seeking accountability.
Pepé: And I really don’t see why you need to say something “reeks.” Do you have any idea how hard it is to be a skunk trying to find a mate? It is not right! I deserve better than how I get treated by females of all kinds of species, and that includes Ms. Pussycat.
Looney Tunes HR Director: Deserve? There’s that entitlement again, and I do apologize for using the word “reeks.” Nonetheless, you sound like one of those incel types. Deserving anything from “females of all kinds of species” is a crock.
Pepé: So I’m le fall guy here? Un bouc émissaire? Typical. I’ve read the reviews, the “cultural criticism” of me. How I reinforce rape culture. S’il te plaît. Cancel culture run amok.
Looney Tunes HR Director: Wow, you really are trying to pull out all of the stops. Look, we are asking you to change your behavior immediately, and I am suggesting you take a good hard look at your assumptions and mindsets related to all of this. You aren’t being canceled. Again, we are looking to see some change and some self-reflection. If you were being canceled, we wouldn’t be talking. You would have simply gotten your pink slip. At the same time, yes, I do see your behavior as a clear example of rape culture. Assumptions about access to another’s body, aggressive sexual pursuit, not seeking consent. Shall I keep going?
Pepé: No.
Looney Tunes HR Director: And yes, here at Looney Tunes, we are well aware we have a long history of problematic sexist, racist, ableist, and other oppressive characters and depictions. We are long overdue to change. Your behavior is simply a part of that. And it needs to change.
Pepé: Okay, I get it. I’ll stop pursuing Ms. Pussycat and I will look at my stuff. Anything else?
Looney Tunes HR Director: No, as we say here at Looney Tunes, that’s all folks.